I always speak of mushotoku during zazen. To see the mind mushotoku, without seeking anything: otherwise we are in error. Zen means to stop everything, to give up everything, to get rid of all thought and idea, to get rid of every dream, and every illusion, to lose all notions and concepts, to free oneself from all the data of our consciousness. It is very strong.
If you think you have gotten or found anything, I can tell you with absolute certainty that your Zen is totally false.